When you lose a friend, part of you dies a little. It hurts even more when the end is slow. It starts with them taking a bit longer to answer your texts. At first you don’t think much of it. Well, you do, but you tell yourself that it’s your anxiety talking. They’re probably just busy and have a lot on their plate. But it happens again. And then again. The daily phone calls? Gone. Not even weekly now. Months go by and things don’t get better. They’ve become a stranger, that one friend who knew your deepest secrets and whom you trusted and loved. They’re gone. Gone from your life, but not from your heart, and that’s why it hurts. You didn’t want that friendship to end. It wasn’t your choice.
Deep down you know people often grow away. Of course you know it. But with this friendship — this person — you thought it was different. You didn’t think anything could break that bond between you. Not even time. Especially not time. But it happened. There wasn’t a fight, nor a reason, but little by little you felt the distance. It was a slow death.
When you lose the one friend you thought would be in your life forever, you have to grieve. You grieve the beginning of the relationship. You grieve what you used to be. You grieve the tears you cried together, the laughs you had, and the texts that never went unanswered. You miss it.
You may even feel silly for being so sad. After all, you didn’t live together, and you were never going to get married or have kids together, it wasn’t like that. But none of that matters. You loved them. You still do. Losing someone you love is a painful process no matter the circumstances.
I know you can’t help but wonder why life keeps throwing people at you who aren’t meant to stay. You wonder if it’s even worth investing in relationships if they’re all meant to expire. You wonder if the temporary happiness is worth the pain. You wonder if you should walk away before you inevitably suffer. But maybe relationships just aren’t meant to last. Maybe there’s beauty in its passing moment. Maybe life puts people in our path simply for the lessons they teach us and how they inspire us to change, to better ourselves, and to not commit the same mistakes again.
You have to believe that this person crossed your path at one point in time because you both needed each other. So hold on to the good memories, even if it hurts. Hold them tight. Even though everything feels dark and lonely right now without your friend by your side, I want you to know that you’re not broken. You’ll find another special friendship. You will.
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