I’ve Never Resented Anyone More Than This Couple Who Won Their THIRD $1 Million Scratch Ticket Jackpot In Five Years

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A Massachusetts couple is celebrating their THIRD $1 million lottery jackpot in only five years.

Good for them.

They probably deserve it.

Seem like salt of the earth people.

God, what a feel good story.

One sec…

Via UPI:

Janet Pflaumer-Phillips of Lakeville told Massachusetts Lottery officials she bought her $30 Diamond Millions scratch-off ticket from the A&A Petro store in Middleborough and scratched it off to reveal a $1 million top prize win.

Pflaumer-Phillips’ husband, Kevin, previously collected $1 million prizes from scratch-off tickets in April 2014 and September 2016.

Janet Pflaumer-Phillips said the couple’s latest winnings will go toward helping out family and friends.

 

The win re-confirms my theory that a higher power refuses to let anyone under the age of 60 win big on the lottery. This theory has been researches extensively over a 10 year period, not coincidentally the same amount of time I’ve poured thousands of my hard-earned money into scratch tickets.

Best of luck to the Phillips family. Hopefully they don’t end up jaded, like this 90-year-old woman who won the $278 million Powerball jackpot, only to turn around and sue her own son for mismanaging the funds. Lottery winning: a blessing and a curse. Actually, just a curse for assholes, who should be legally required to hand over their winnings to blow their winnings on dope shit instead of lawyer fees. I’m available!

 

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