For The Ones Having A Hard Time Letting Go

Brunette woman doing a yoga pose inside long grass in Curitiba at sunrise
Andressa Voltolini / Unsplash

It is so easy to get attached to the idea of “what could’ve been.”

It is so easy to get lost in all the things they promised, all the things they said you two would do together, all the kind things they made you believe but never made a reality.

And it is so hard to let go of the routine you had around them; the comfort you built with them; the experiences and memories you share with them…but it must be done. 

When you realize that the side effects you get after taking a pill are too much to bear, you easily toss them and try something new. You don’t keep taking it, thinking Well, maybe tomorrow it will work differently…

No! It’s the same damn pill, and it’s going to keep giving you same undesired side effects.

We have to start seeing people who are not meant for us anymore in that same fashion.

We build our worth around this belief that this is it, the person we are so in to, or so “in love” with, just is, and that’s just what we have to get used to. But that’s because we let the few good times outweigh the innumerable bad times.

And my gosh, if there’s anything we need to stop doing, it is just that. 

Good times do not outweigh the bad…ever. The bad times will always win, and they will always keep coming back. Do not be fooled.

Please just stop and reflect on this for a second…

They’re not taking you and your feelings into consideration.

They’re not putting forth the effort and respect you deserve.

Ultimately, they’re making you feel shitty while trying to cover it up with a half-assed “sorry,” and all the other nice things they know you want to hear. And they only say it so they can keep you around, wrapped around their finger for that much longer.

Look, I know you tried. I know you gave them the benefit of the doubt. I know you’ve tried to change how you think or act. I know you probably created more excuses for them than they could’ve made for themselves.

And I know that, despite all this, you’ve probably convinced yourself there’s no one else that has as much in common with you as them, that understands you as well as them, or that you’ll ever be as comfortable with as them…

Do you see where this is not adding up? 

It doesn’t matter if they helped you get through a tough time, or helped you realize your potential;

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been through a lot with them;

It doesn’t matter if they’ve shown you new doors;

It doesn’t matter if you think the memories you shared will “be for nothing” (they’re definitely not for nothing).

Sometimes people are meant to come into our lives only for a brief moment to show us or teach us something, and then they’re meant to stray back to their own path.

Let them show or teach you whatever it is, and then let them go. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life. And by trying so hard to keep them around, you’re wasting energy on a schedule that isn’t going to change; you’re prolonging the time it will take for other, better, things to come around; And you become more and more dazed to all the incredible people and opportunities that are waiting for you to finally let go of what’s holding you back.

When does enough become enough? When are you going to do something kind for yourself and let this person go? You owe this to yourself. Better things are bound to come through once you finally get around the barrier that’s been blocking your path to them all this time.

And please understand…I know it hurts now, but the sooner you decide to stop falling for the half-assed ‘sorry’s, and the insincere comments, and the sporadic Friday night booty texts, the sooner that pain will go away; the sooner you’ll be able to reclaim your self-worth, your confidence, and you’re dignity.

Actually, look at it this way: it’s just like a pulling off a band-aid.

You will only work yourself up more and more by waiting, so you might as well just rip that shit off and toss it away. The stinging will eventually subside, but you’ll heal faster and get on with your life much sooner. TC mark

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