Laptops Recovered From ISIS Jihadists Contained Pretty Dark Sh*t

Laptops Recovered From ISIS Jihadists Contained Pretty Dark Sh*t

15715981259 ea169dcafe b 640x426Day Donaldson/Flickr

It’ll come as absolutely no surprise that when laptops were recovered from psychopathic ISIS jihadists, they contained some pretty dark shit.

Lieutenant General Michael Flynn, an ex-chief of the Defence Intelligence Agency, has revealed the kind of dark material that was found on the seized computers. And it turns out those Daesh lot absolutely love whacking off.

The laptops were filled with up to 80 per cent porn films. And you can bet it wasn’t just standard missionary stuff that they downloaded, or even slightly bizarre compilations that make you feel sad afterwards.

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The very laptop or phone you’re reading this article on is probably brimming with smut, but it was the other 20 per cent of the material found on ISIS machines that was as heinous as you’d probably imagine.

Flynn told German newspaper Bild:

We looked a ruthless enemy in the eye – women and children, girls and boys, raped and exploited, the beheadings stored on a laptop next to pornography.

At one point we actually had determined that the material on the laptops was up to 80 per cent pornography.

These sick, psychopathic enemies were not only unimaginably hideous, but also treacherous and torn.

We had to work faster to outwit them if we wanted to beat them.

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These findings back up what Boris Johnson said about terrorists being wankers last year.

The floppy-haired Tory said: 

If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally wankers.

Porn was so last month,. They clearly haven’t discovered Pokémon Go yet.

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