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15 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

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1. Footballer accidentally thanks his wife and girlfriend in incredible man of the match speech

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2. Indian engineer named Saddam Hussain cannot get a job

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3. Africa Trade Meeting Has No Africans After US Visa Denials

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4. Female traffic light signals a step-forward for equality

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5. ‘Balloonatic’ gets $26.5K fine for ‘unconscionably stupid’ lawn chair flight over Calgary

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6. Man ‘stabbed a Catholic priest in the neck’ during Sunday service after yelling ‘You are Indian… you can’t say mass!’

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7. American Legion’s Testicle Festival urges you to ‘come have a ball’

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8. Archbishop in Sicily bans mafia from being godfathers

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9. Manny Ramirez gets unlimited sushi as part of Japanese baseball contract

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10. The Satanic Temple puts up anti-paddling billboard in Springtown

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11. Man impersonating cop pulls over corrections officer

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12. ‘Narcissistic’ bird wins internet fans in Australia

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13. How a Vancouver pub ‘annoyed an entire country’ with a poorly poured pint of Guinness

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14. Vasectomies peak during March Madness

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15. An entire Southern Oregon town could be yours for $3.85 million

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